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Saturday, March 1, 2014

Two Coffee Dates: Part One


Anyone reading this, who knows me, is aware I don’t actually drink coffee, so it was really two hot chocolate dates; however, that title didn’t seem catchy enough.

This week, seemingly with a throw of the proverbial dice, I was able to meet with two females. I will call them female one and two. Female One lived outside of town, so I drove to meet her at a Tim Horton’s in a small town. As I waited I started to get the feeling the rough truckers and day laborers were looking at me with my polo shirt and dress pants, wondering what I was doing in their town. I certainly felt out of place.

I waited for what seemed like an eternity for her to arrive, even though it was only a few minutes. Ladies have a real skill at coming in three to ten minutes past the meet up time. There has to be some book that tells them exactly how to do these things, small things, that make us wait and can drive men a little mad, just ever so slightly.

She came in, we shook hands, and said hello. Before we even made it to the register she pulled out her wallet and took out her card. Apparently, I didn’t have to question one bit if she expected me to pay or if she wanted to split. She is a Resident Director for a woman’s dorm with a background working in youth camps; however, over time all the traveling got to be a burden and she wanted something more stable. Like so many others, she had a difficult time finding a job, so, like myself, she found herself moving out of state and a little far from family.

She was nice, at one point trying to correct herself, even though I told her she had no need to apologize, that it was fine. Why do females apologize so much? I actually find is amazing and sad. What, in our culture, makes females feel sorry for the silliest things that they have no need to apologize for? Is it that females are nicer than guys or are they conditioned to be submissive, so saying sorry a lot comes with that conditioning?

We had a good time chatting and later the next day I messaged her to see if she wanted to go on an official date. I was going to offer to pay but wanted to see if she was interested first. A day later she replied that she did not desire a date but wouldn’t mind being friends.

Now, I always want to take people at their word, and since I am a stranger to her, I don’t know why she would feel the need to say this to "ease my pain" so I told her I would enjoy being friends actually (which was true). However, I did put the ball in her court to message me sometime to chat or maybe get together. See, in the past (See my Dating Series) I would always keep trying to contact females who said they wanted to be friends but obviously they did not, so now I've changed my method. Now I think it is perfectly reasonable that the one who did the rejecting should be the one to extend the hand of friendship, not the one who was rejected.

Then today, yes, just a few hours ago I met Female number two. I know, I should really come up with fake names, right? Anyway, from the moment I met her she smiled and well, she was FUN. Female number one was nice but was almost so intellectual it was like she couldn’t really laugh or enjoy herself, it made her pretty intense, like there was a wall between us in our conversation.

This was different…

Different you say, How so?
~ Doubledb

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