Maybe this is my introverted side showing. I relate to my close friends based off of shared interest and experiences, only me and this person don’t have any background. I guess it is supposed to be exciting finding out all the new things, but I suppose I never like the beginning, but I like to dive right in... Though I know there has to be a beginning, I don’t find it to be my favorite part, more like something I have to go through to get to the other side (Ex: Moving to Buffalo, Starting a New Position, Finding a New Church Home, etc.).
And besides all of that. I am not sure how I feel. I’ve tried to be logical and ask if I find her attractive and if we get along. While we get along great, I can’t tell if I find her attractive in that way. I don’t know if I have ever been confused trying to figure out if I found someone attractive before.
I really have no idea.
After our first date I knew I wanted a second one. I thought about talking to her, which we did, and then now after the second date I find myself confused.
Do I have to have all the answers?
Why can't I just have fun right now until I figure out how I feel?
My logical side says to slow down, that nothing has to be decided... but another part of me knows I can’t just keep this going forever. A DTR (Defining the Relationship) will happen. What then? What if I can’t decide how I feel? How can I tell her I am not sure, that she has baffled me?
I've never had this problem before.
I am supposed to call her this week and we will plan our next date, which she has offered to pay for (so progressive). While I don’t mind taking more time to try to figure out my feelings, I also don’t want to lead her on. I feel like the longer it goes on, she could be hurt if I decide against going forward.
But then I think of what good conversation we have had,
talking for a few hours and time going by so fast.
Is this a relationship or just like friendship?
Do I find her attractive in that way or am I just lonely?
I don’t know.
Honestly, I have never really enjoyed dating.
This crap is work and baffles my mind.
But there is one thing I do know,
This is the first time I got a second date,
So I guess that is growth!
~ Doubledb
I say give her a chance. As you continue dating her, you will start to feel one way or another, either a disinterest in spending time with her, or an increased interest and desire.
ReplyDeleteI recently started dating an amazing, wonderful fellow and while I really liked him when we started dating, a few weeks later I couldn't decide if I liked him, or the attention he was giving me. I decided that it was the attention that I was seeking so much, but as I took a step back and thought about it...he is so wonderful, and tender, and amazing, and passionate, and goofy that if I didn't give him a chance, it would be a huge mistake. Well, we continued dating, and then one day I had this huge upswelling of feelings for him and I realized how perfect we were for each other. Keep trying to get to know her - it will make sense at some point.
Unfortunately for me, this amazing fellow didn't feel the same about me in the end and we called things off, but it only takes one person to say yes in a sea of no's to find your true love.
Yeah, I am thinking more and more that I may not be attracted to her that way; however, I am not sure.. and so long as I am not leading her on... I dont really see a problem with moving forward, continuing to meet until I figure out exactly what/if I feel.
DeleteThanks for reading and commenting. Sry things didn't work out. I think one benefit of NOT being friends or knowing this person BEFORE you date is that I think it hurts less if you get rejected. I think when it is a friend and then a relationship it can have a double sting.
Here's to those of us who are in this crazy dating game, eh? ha ha ;)
~ Doubledb