My Soul Laid Bare?

What if I told you the truth? What if I typed all of my truest feelings and deepest thoughts? What if I really let you in, behind the surface veil of my life? Would it make us connect deeper or would you run further away?

What if what I typed wasn’t all roses? What if what I posted wasn’t all about smiles and past-times, but about hardship and suffering? What if that suffering produced growth and was an integral part of my story? Would you still read? Would you still listen?

What if I posted about online dating? What if I wrote long entries here about my elation of a coffee date and my deflation when a second date was woefully declined?

Would you read with me?
Would you walk with me?

Would you grief with me?
Would you rejoice with me?

Would you walk alongside me in this journey as I try my best to walk alongside you in yours, as express the joys and struggles of marriage, of trying to have children, or of raising your children?

Would you care about my thoughts regarding loneliness since I moved so far from my home state? Would you listen to me express how I love my position but miss everyone and everything I ever knew?

Would you listen to me build up my life from a new foundation? Would you hear how I call and depend on people I don’t know, to lay my pride down and ask when I need help?

Would you read about how my life often feels repetitive?
When you live alone, life seems the same, week by week, day by day.

Silence fills up your space.

Even when you are busy, you can feel your alone-ness weighing on you, reminding you that you are not connecting to anyone or anything, sometimes no matter how hard you try.

You are grasping at air.

Would you listen if I told you that despite all of these things, this time has been my biggest growth and achievement personally and spiritually? Would you like to hear how God has been changing my heart and mind since the day I moved here, that being alone has made me depend on God on a far deeper level? Would you like to hear about the new riches of that relationship, discovery though hardship?

Would you care to read?
Would it pierce you?

If I bared my soul to you,
Would it matter?

Would it merely be another blog entry?
Would it merely be a form of entertainment for your eyes?
Would it merely be a form of isolation or bring connectedness?

Only time will tell…
When I bare my soul.

However, for now,
My musings are my own.

~ Doubledb