Dating Series 2 of 6: Meeting CJ

MEETING CJ:

Note: Names have been changed.

I met CJ in the eighth grade at church. She was fun, spunky, always so full of life, vibrancy, and had a great sense of humor. I still remember one time when the youth group was going watch a movie and the female’s vote won own over the guys, so we all had to watch "Sense and Sensibility". How highly democratic of us, right? Neither CJ nor I were thrilled with the choice so while the other females rejoiced and men bemoaned, we sat and talked.

Why anyone would choose one over the other is beyond me...

We did become pretty close. Did I mention that she was a sophomore and I was in eighth grade? I imagine if she was younger or I was older we might have gone out, but because I was in middle school and she was in high school it just didn’t really work (and the irony is plenty of female friends did go out with older guys, so maybe it was an excuse).

I remember there were times when, coming back from a youth group event or just relaxing, she would lay her head on my shoulder or rest it on my lap. Even though I was young, I enjoyed the feeling of someone being that comfortable with me and feeling that connection. I really was a little annoyed when the sponsor would tell her to sit up. I mean, it wasn’t like we were making out. It was nice. I liked feeling wanted. I liked physical affection from a female who wasn’t a family member.

As with all good things, after a few years CJ moved and I had no way to contact her. She moved a few times, family financial issues I think, and I never had her information to connect with her though phone calls or letters.

Looking back now, I think maybe she had clung onto me because I was a male figure who listened, cared for her, and didn’t "want" anything sexual from her. See, she lived with her older sister and mother who was divorced and single, her father being out of the picture completely.

Yes, I was attracted to her and if things were different I would have dated her (or at least tried), but I think I was a male who might have filled some of the emptiness she felt from her father being absent in her life.

I hadn’t heard of through of her for years until I spoke with her again online. She is now married and has wonderful family. She is also a bit more conservative than me, which is funny to me considering she always had a more outgoing and spunky personality than myself. People surprise you like that I suppose.

Have you ever felt like you were being used emotionally?
Have you ever dated someone older or younger than you?

What happened?

~ Doubledb