Adjusting to Buffalo

Well it finally happened. I finally cried this morning. I was fixing my bed frame last night and my back started to hurt. Sometimes that happens, but exercising has helped it to hurt a lot less lately. Well, I woke up at about 5:30 this morning, because well, that’s when the sun comes up here in the summer apparently. I started looking up automotive repair places online, cause well, my power steering fluid is leaking and I need a new pump. My back just kept hurting. Is it the new chair I bought? Maybe the new mattress set? I don’t know. I still need a haircut, to go by the DMV too. Then it all started to hit me.

I guess I made it longer before I cried here than any other move I have made so far. When I moved to college I had a roommate to talk to; however, when I moved to grad school, to my own apartment, and then to my residency... Well, I was living by myself. I can’t really explain how it feels to people who have never lived alone. Yes, it is great to have my own place... and I'm glad I don’t have roommates... but it is hard not having anyone I know here. I go through this every time I move. It isn’t just the adjusting to a new place, finding all the places you need to know and go to and get stuff done. For me it is the time it takes to find a new group of people around you.

As an introvert I do make friendships but it takes me time, so in a move it a while before I make friends and who knows if any will even be good or great or best friends. I have to keep reminding myself that not everything has to be done now. But its hard, I want to be comfortable. I want to have all my books in bookshelves and I want all my comfy furniture now. I don’t want to wait. I feel like I am in a state of Limbo. I guess I want to nest, which includes furniture, having stuff in order, finding friends, getting use to my job, and finding a church here.

I guess this morning it all kind caught up and hit me. On the other hand, it has taken me about a week before this hit me. Usually, it only takes me one or two nights, so I guess I am improving over time and all the moves I have had to do in the past. Actually, even typing this out is now making me feel better. Maybe today I will just get a haircut and go see Superman (if there are any tickets).

Maybe I will worry about my power steering pump and the DMV later. As far as my mattress is concerned, for now I’m putting my air mattress on top of my new one. I think I am going to have to go to a mattress store and get a thicker mattress. I think that will help since I am a little bigger and have back problems sometimes. I don’t think the cheap and thin mattress I got is going to cut it for me.

So, here is an update. People have been asking me and I've just been preoccupied with getting stuff done or trying to relax. Good thing is I have been eating better and exercising again. The bad thing is I can’t seem to do both of those in the same day, ha ha. I will get back to it again soon. I really want to lose the weight. Ok, so that is my update. Not as engaging a read as the last one but oh well, writing is like that sometimes.

~ Doubledb